Week One: my parents house

Daniel and Jared would have climbed into my car had it not been locked. I insisted we go inside so I could meet their foster parents. I briefly met the foster mom who was in a rush and couldn't talk long, and I learned that the foster dad was not around and would often be working late into the night, so I wouldn't likely see him much.

Then we were on our way. Jared sat quietly in the back almost as though not wanting to offend. Daniel changed the radio to some rap station. I asked them about school and about trivial things at first but quickly got to questions about living in a foster home, and about their families to get those out of the way. They were pretty open. Daniel told me how his mom was in and out of jail and his dad was out of state. Both had drug problems at different times. Jared explained that his parents had died in a car crash and he and four siblings were all in different foster homes as a result. He didn't know if he had grandparents still alive. I knew most of the information about Daniel because the mentoring agency had given me some details, but I had no information on Jared. When they tried to tell me it was Daniel's fifteenth birthday the next week on the day I would visit next, I knew he was lying, but I didn't tell him so. It didn't take them long to start testing their boundaries on everything. I called them out on everything else. Even stopping for gas was an opportunity to see how much change I would spare for the convenience store. Daniel pointed out all the places he had to do community service to clean up graffiti. Then he told me how he would have been able to get a tattoo and ear piercings if he wasn't in foster care. I wondered for a moment what I was getting into, but at my parents home their true selves showed.

I briefly introduced them to my parents and then we shyly escaped to the basement. We had some ice cream and watched some cartoon clips in the theater room. I don't know that they've been in such a nice home before, and so I was sure to keep an eye on them knowing that trust is earned. To end the evening they suggested we play a game of hide and seek (including my brother just back from college). With ground rules that they couldn't go in any rooms we gave it a try. Turns out Jared was afraid of the dark and Daniel wasn't much braver. That brought a funny realization of how much innocent fun we could have together. From then on I knew we were going to have good times together. They also confirmed that they thought I was pretty cool as we drove home. And as they held their hands out of the car to catch rain drops coming down from the sky, then recoiling when they began to hit like daggers as we entered the freeway, I smiled at how I had forgotten some of the fun simple things of life and I began to realize how these new friendships were going to do more for me than I would have thought.

Week One: meet the parents

A distraught mother cried into the phone begging me to get the Social Worker to bring her baby back. It was awkward. I didn't even know what she was talking about. Calling to set up my first "Big Brother" mentoring appointment was nerve-wracking enough. But apparently, Daniel, was getting used to his first week in foster care. So I wouldn't be meeting his parents, after all.

The foster care mom treated me like a Godsend. Not only could I come and see Daniel, she unabashedly asked that I bring along the other foster kid, Jared, as well. Just this once. She had some errands to run and really could use the favor. I went along.

Daniel and Jared were waiting expectantly outside for my arrival. Jared had filled Daniel in on what it meant to have a mentor and how lucky he was. They both pounced from a bush to surprise me when I arrived, and only then asked if I was Chad, not yet really even knowing what I looked like. It was obvious we were going to get along well. It can be difficult for me to get out of myself in meeting a stranger. They, however, were so willing to be outgoing and meet someone new, but who wouldn't be excited to escape their daily strife even just for one hour I could give each week. (to be continued)